It has been nearly six years since my last release. I lost my drive to create music, thinking that I would never regain it, so I decided to take a break from performing. During this time, my rock band The Barrens broke up, I got married, joined a band where I met the drummer I now play with, sang in a women’s choir, and taught piano to children. I witnessed the 2016 election, and the inspiration finally hit me to write songs again. It sounds cliche, I know. We all went through our emotions on that fateful evening and vowed to make a difference somehow. Through my anger, tears, and multiple glasses of vodka, I made a vow that I would write and record new songs my own way, without any obstacles.
We began recording at Mozart Street Studios in Brooklyn on April 8, 2018. On March 31, 2020, I will release this EP titled The End of Our Time.
“The End Of Our Time”, the opening and title track, tells the tale of unknowingly falling for someone dangerous, such as a serial killer, and trying to escape from it all.
The original title for “In Control” was “Anthem for a Thirty-Something Year-Old Has-been.” The heroine yearns for the days when she had the courage and confidence to take on the world, while slowly fading away and being forgotten. The line in the second verse, “what happened to the punks and stoners that I knew before?” is a callback to my song “I Know A Place” from my first album Lovebug.
“December” was inspired by the AMC television series, Mad Men. The narrative follows a Don Draper-type affair told from his woman’s perspective--she is relentless; he is unattainable.
The high melody in “A Word/A Lie” represents the person who is trying to mend a failing friendship or relationship. The low melody is a response from the other person who has given up completely.
“The Cut” took me the longest time to write. In the summer of 2013, The Barrens’ recording engineer and producer Jim Bentley committed suicide in his apartment. While the song calls for suicide awareness and prevention, it is dedicated to the suriving loved ones who struggle with loss.
Every song on this release is about an ending: the end of shared time, the end of a youthful era, the end of an affair, the end of a friendship, and the end of a life. As George Harrison wrote “all things must pass,” everything comes to an end. To that I add, “everything done is erasable, nothing stays the same.” However, the end of things does not necessarily mean death. It could eventually lead to new beginnings. Perhaps my next release will send a more hopeful message instead of despair and defeat. Until then, I leave you with a question from the author and Buddhist Stephen Batchelor:
“Since death alone is certain, and the time of death uncertain, what should I do?”
I hope you will find the answer for yourself.
I hope you enjoy my music.
(photo by Alice Teeple)